William: Thank you once again for your thought leadership . . . having worked in the non-profit world for 20 years (following 10 years as a newspaper reporter/editor and 14 years in the for-profit sector), it truly pains me to see diversity, equity and inclusion used as cudgel by the most insecure among us who have nothing more to offer but grievance. I pray our better angels will rise but fear that moment may not come.
My father grew up in a very racist household--even though they had no $$, my parental grandparents were glad to be white! (He was glad to leave home ASAP.) After WWII he met my Mex-Am mother, and he warned his family that he was going to marry her no matter what they said. Since his family fell in love with my mother and my maternal grandmother the instant they met them, they decided that "all" Mexicans are wonderful.
Oh, dear!
Many years later, when my parents relocated to be near me so I could help take care of my mother in her last year, one of my uncles (one of my father's brothers) came up to help them move. By then, he'd undergone his own health struggles. He told me that after a serious surgery, one of his neighbors, a very kind black gentleman he'd never spoken to beyond "hello" offered all kinds of help from taking him to appointments to help around the house for my aunt. My uncle admitted he was stunned. He told me it made him realize that "black folks are just like us. They just want to get ahead and get jobs and get married and take care of their families."
Imagine that!
Racism is such a poison, as is classism. It's too bad that it sometimes takes a lifetime for some people to "unlearn" years of indoctrination; however, as long as it can be unlearned, there's hope for us all.
I remember my ex-fiancé's grandfather, a man of 95 in failing health, correct his wife who referred to one of his caretakers, a black man, as a "boy". "No, Dorothy," he said. "That's a man, and a good one. No boy could do his job."
When my father was in a nursing home the last few years of his life, most of the nursing staff hailed from Ghana or Brazil. They treated my father like gold because he was so respectful--and he'd get so angry sometimes (which was always so weird to see because he was laid back so much of the time) because a few of the clients were so awfully racially prejudiced. The staff were so good about it, and so appreciative of his advocacy. I explained he was raised in Louisiana--very deep south--during the Depression, so he knew a lot about racial hatred, and he despised it.
Not my grandfather, my ex-fiancé's grandfather. I always admired that man, an old Navy officer who tried to live an upright life and succeeded as far as I could tell. Contrast him with the Queen's former riding teacher whom his granddaughter knew during her occupational therapy studies in the UK. A horrible old harridan who refused to be touched by any POC and insulted them often in the nursing home where she was. Not everyone ages like fine wine, and some infections settle forever in the bones (as my in-house orthopedic surgeon tells me often happens).
Harridan? Well, all this was more than 20 years ago, and I think the woman was in her 90s then, so I suppose it would have been common usage when she was a younger lass. My head has this strange habit of dredging up language associated with earlier generations when I think or talk about them. Words that never come into my head when talking about age peers or younger.
I rarely use such words because no one understands them anymore! And I hate wasting time defining myself, if you know what I mean. Most annoying. Ha ha!
Truth. This is exactly why we can't have nice things (like healthcare, social safety nets, high quality education for all, etc) in this country. Whiteness socks.
That's the absolute truth. I just finished The Majic Mountain for the third time and in one of the last chapters, we meet a German man who Was a Businessman, Was a Productive Member of Society, Was any number of things before his tubercular condition meant he had to give up his life in "the flat lands" and be a permanent patient in the clinic. About the only thing he took with him, was his fervent belief that Jews were absolutely inferior to him. That was All He Had. He Wasn't A Jew and he wore this Non-Jewishness like an ugly, oozing scar across his face. It is his core sense of self. He was NOTHING BUT an Anti-Semite. I think, there is a lot of that going around. For so many racists, it is certainly their defining trait, their center of self. More so if it is 'all they have.' The Loser Bigot has an awful lot invested in this one pathetic, reactionary, inverse accomplishment. Any wonder they cling to it with such slavering ferocity.
Growing up in the south during the 50s and 60s we were told we were white. Not by mouth… we were told by the signs at the drug store, movie theatre, hospital, etc. This was normal for us.
I never saw any violence, personally, until the CBS news on Bloody Sunday. The cruelty of that day changed me forever.
As I got older I began reading our history and found TRUTH.
Truth is not what I learned in school. I was angry that I had been told lie upon lie.
Fast forward to today…we are now heading backwards.
Dear people reading this, Please grab a book of truth and read it. And most of all tell everyone the TRUTH.
William: Thank you once again for your thought leadership . . . having worked in the non-profit world for 20 years (following 10 years as a newspaper reporter/editor and 14 years in the for-profit sector), it truly pains me to see diversity, equity and inclusion used as cudgel by the most insecure among us who have nothing more to offer but grievance. I pray our better angels will rise but fear that moment may not come.
Oh, now you're talkin my language ♡ a soothing balm of positive desire. We will do this...many already live in truth
Excellent point, William. I’ll come back and follow the links to your earlier writing when I sit down later for afternoon tea.
My father grew up in a very racist household--even though they had no $$, my parental grandparents were glad to be white! (He was glad to leave home ASAP.) After WWII he met my Mex-Am mother, and he warned his family that he was going to marry her no matter what they said. Since his family fell in love with my mother and my maternal grandmother the instant they met them, they decided that "all" Mexicans are wonderful.
Oh, dear!
Many years later, when my parents relocated to be near me so I could help take care of my mother in her last year, one of my uncles (one of my father's brothers) came up to help them move. By then, he'd undergone his own health struggles. He told me that after a serious surgery, one of his neighbors, a very kind black gentleman he'd never spoken to beyond "hello" offered all kinds of help from taking him to appointments to help around the house for my aunt. My uncle admitted he was stunned. He told me it made him realize that "black folks are just like us. They just want to get ahead and get jobs and get married and take care of their families."
Imagine that!
Racism is such a poison, as is classism. It's too bad that it sometimes takes a lifetime for some people to "unlearn" years of indoctrination; however, as long as it can be unlearned, there's hope for us all.
I remember my ex-fiancé's grandfather, a man of 95 in failing health, correct his wife who referred to one of his caretakers, a black man, as a "boy". "No, Dorothy," he said. "That's a man, and a good one. No boy could do his job."
Bravo for your grandfather!!
When my father was in a nursing home the last few years of his life, most of the nursing staff hailed from Ghana or Brazil. They treated my father like gold because he was so respectful--and he'd get so angry sometimes (which was always so weird to see because he was laid back so much of the time) because a few of the clients were so awfully racially prejudiced. The staff were so good about it, and so appreciative of his advocacy. I explained he was raised in Louisiana--very deep south--during the Depression, so he knew a lot about racial hatred, and he despised it.
Not my grandfather, my ex-fiancé's grandfather. I always admired that man, an old Navy officer who tried to live an upright life and succeeded as far as I could tell. Contrast him with the Queen's former riding teacher whom his granddaughter knew during her occupational therapy studies in the UK. A horrible old harridan who refused to be touched by any POC and insulted them often in the nursing home where she was. Not everyone ages like fine wine, and some infections settle forever in the bones (as my in-house orthopedic surgeon tells me often happens).
Oops, sorry, my apologies. (This is what happens when one doesn't read carefully) He sounds like he was a fine man.
Harridan—now there’s a fine word I haven’t heard in a coon’s age! One my father used to use, actually. (He had a marvelous vocabulary)
Harridan? Well, all this was more than 20 years ago, and I think the woman was in her 90s then, so I suppose it would have been common usage when she was a younger lass. My head has this strange habit of dredging up language associated with earlier generations when I think or talk about them. Words that never come into my head when talking about age peers or younger.
I rarely use such words because no one understands them anymore! And I hate wasting time defining myself, if you know what I mean. Most annoying. Ha ha!
Truth. This is exactly why we can't have nice things (like healthcare, social safety nets, high quality education for all, etc) in this country. Whiteness socks.
One day you will have those nice things.
That's the absolute truth. I just finished The Majic Mountain for the third time and in one of the last chapters, we meet a German man who Was a Businessman, Was a Productive Member of Society, Was any number of things before his tubercular condition meant he had to give up his life in "the flat lands" and be a permanent patient in the clinic. About the only thing he took with him, was his fervent belief that Jews were absolutely inferior to him. That was All He Had. He Wasn't A Jew and he wore this Non-Jewishness like an ugly, oozing scar across his face. It is his core sense of self. He was NOTHING BUT an Anti-Semite. I think, there is a lot of that going around. For so many racists, it is certainly their defining trait, their center of self. More so if it is 'all they have.' The Loser Bigot has an awful lot invested in this one pathetic, reactionary, inverse accomplishment. Any wonder they cling to it with such slavering ferocity.
What you are, sir, is a fellow dealing shots of truth that make my days better.
Growing up in the south during the 50s and 60s we were told we were white. Not by mouth… we were told by the signs at the drug store, movie theatre, hospital, etc. This was normal for us.
I never saw any violence, personally, until the CBS news on Bloody Sunday. The cruelty of that day changed me forever.
As I got older I began reading our history and found TRUTH.
Truth is not what I learned in school. I was angry that I had been told lie upon lie.
Fast forward to today…we are now heading backwards.
Dear people reading this, Please grab a book of truth and read it. And most of all tell everyone the TRUTH.