The Omnipresent Fear of Being Raped or Sexually Assaulted

Why This Fear Has Never Been Eradicated

MismibaTinasheMadando, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

How much do you worry about being raped? I can’t recall any point in my life where I had this concern. Not that it couldn’t happen to a big, Black man, though my size offers some degree of self-assurance. I’ve never been much of a fighter, but my point is that I haven’t been in a position where I even conceived of having that type of fight. After age five, I was in a safe environment; before that, I didn’t know any better. I looked like someone you didn’t want to try in my adult life.

In contrast, most women I know have been in situations where they’ve feared being raped or sexually assaulted. My wife has shared a story about being given a date rape drug while at a happy hour with her girlfriends. Fortunately, she was able to reach her then-husband, who got to her in time to prevent an attack. Women must be ever alert to their circumstances, even in places and environments one might consider safe. Women have been raped in their workplace, at school, in police cars, at their dentist or doctor’s office, and most likely in their own homes. It’s not as if women can avoid places where rapes occur; they happen everywhere. Boys and men get raped as well in environments as diverse as prisons and churches, but the risk isn’t nearly the same.

History hasn’t been kind to women when it comes to rape and assault. Women were often considered the spoils of war. Conquering armies had the right to rape the women of the defeated going further back than in ancient Rome. Russian armies raped women in East Prussia after World War II. Over 200,000 women were raped in Bosnia during the battle for Bangladeshi independence. Japanese armies raped Chinese women during the 1937 occupation of Nanking. In America, Union soldiers raped Southern women, Black and white, during the Civil War.

The Confederate soldiers didn’t occupy nearly as Union territory and didn’t keep it long. They mostly raped the Black women they were raping long before the war, though white women weren’t exempt. The Civil War is often accepted by historians as a “low-rape war,” pitting brother vs. brother. The opposite was true, as women were just as much the spoils of war as in many other conflicts. American soldiers have perpetrated rape wherever they’ve been, often without consequences.

America was built on the rape of Black women. After the International Slave Trade ended in 1808, the ever-increasing demand for additional slaves was met domestically by forced breeding and rape. Historians mostly called it a “natural increase,” as if the tremendous expansion in the number of slaves happened on its own. Thomas Jefferson wrote George Washington on obtaining a 4% increase in profits if his female slaves had a baby every two years.

Thomas Jefferson’s Four-Percent Solution | by William Spivey | Black History Month 365 | Medium

Sticking to the present, we must create safe spaces for women (and boys) where they need not fear being raped. We have laws against rape and sexual assault, much like we have gun laws designed to keep guns out of the hands of people that shouldn’t own them. We don’t have the will to enforce those laws without requiring an undue burden of proof. Men who commit these crimes are generally believed unless incontrovertible proof is presented; ask P. Diddy. We might crucify an occasional suspect, if only to justify all those we let go.

The other thing we do in America is to look for ways to blame the victim. What was she wearing? What was she doing there? Did she put herself in that position? Women shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for the unsolicited transgressions of others. They should be supported and believed the first time.

“After years in silence and darkness, I am finally ready to tell my story, and to speak up on behalf of myself and for the benefit of other women who face violence and abuse in their relationships. With the expiration of New York’s Adult Survivors Act fast approaching, it became clear that this was an opportunity to speak up about the trauma I have experienced and that I will be recovering from for the rest of my life,” — Cassie

It’s also essential to seek out perpetrators where they are and identify who they are targeting.

While white women report 80% of rapes, women of color are more likely to be assaulted than white women. Women of color are less likely to report rapes and assaults out of shame or a belief nothing can or will be done. Another reason is that the person committing the crime is the same person they are supposed to come to, whether a parent, guardian, or law enforcement. These percentages are affected by who considers themselves white when self-reporting, but these statistics provide an idea of who is getting raped. That doesn’t always equate to who is doing the raping, as white men, for example, are frequently the rapists when it comes to victims of other ethnic groups.

• Asian/Pacific Islander: 6.8%

• Hispanic/Latina: 11.9%

• White:17.7%

• Black: 18.8%

• American Indian/Alaska Native: 34.1%

• Mixed Race: 24.4%

Unfortunately, it’s still necessary to give girls of every racial group “the talk” when it comes to keeping themselves safe. It’s likely that among the disproportionate number of missing Black and Native American children are a high percentage of rape victims, now being sexually trafficked or deceased. Keeping our children safe must be a higher priority. We can’t count on law enforcement, school administrators and teachers, coaches, tutors, and religious leaders to do the job. When you see something, say something, even when it’s parents suspected. A child’s life or future may depend on it.