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William F. Spivey's History Channel

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William F. Spivey's History Channel
William F. Spivey's History Channel
Returning to the World After Attempting Suicide

Returning to the World After Attempting Suicide

The Years Following Have Been the Best of My Life

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William Spivey
Nov 23, 2024
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William F. Spivey's History Channel
William F. Spivey's History Channel
Returning to the World After Attempting Suicide
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Photo by Nathalie Gaines

I knew three weeks ahead of time I was going to commit suicide. My daily routine was walking three-and-a-half miles from my home to Lake Apopka. I felt a sense of serenity looking across the water. The lake was teeming with life: fish, turtles, snakes, and alligators at the right time of day if you looked closely enough. I went to the lake several times, praying to God to give me a sign that ending it all wasn’t what I was supposed to do. In retrospect, there were multiple signs; I just wasn’t in a place where I could interpret them.

One day, just when I got to the lake. A sun shower appeared from nowhere. It wasn’t enough to soak me, just enough to dampen my shirt. I looked over the lake and saw the brightest rainbow I’d ever seen. A woman passed and remarked, “I’ve never seen a rainbow so bright!” That was a sign, but I ignored it and sunk back into my depression.

Everything in my life prepared me to be successful, while nothing prepared me to fail. I received …

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